The L Word Season 1 Episode 13 Review

A funeral turns into an appointment, the lesbian double standard emerges, and Shane does NOT slumber with a human's entire nuclear family unit. It's the L Word Virgin.

50 Word: Flash Not-Very-Far Back edition! Bette and Candace meet in a parking garage, which is already bad news – nothing good always happens in Television set parking garages. They sit down silently together until Bette says, "Take me somewhere."

doot dat doot da doo dum da the 50 word.I actually hope they don't change the opening side by side flavor.

El Garden Shed:Jenny and Robin are in bed together and looking very besotted indeed. Robin playfully admits her jealousy when Jenny mentions a date, but it doesn't prevent them from having some MULTIPLE OVERLAY SEX to Portishead. Nipples are fashion less hot out of context.

Poor Tim (I know y'all are depressed, but please cut your hair, Tim) comes out to deliver Jenny's paper while the Portishead is still playing and gets to see this through the gauzy garden-shed curtains.

A niggling blurry, but you become the picture.

He sadly drops the paper outside and wanders off.

Super-Pretty Casa Del Adultery: Candace pays for the room non because she'south beholden to patriarchal customs about butch and femme dynamics, but because she doesn't want it to show upwards on Bette's credit card. Ouch.

The Portishead continues upstairs. Hither is a photo of some Portishead.

Candace pins Bette down at the wrists - she wants to let Bette know she can't e'er exist in command. Damn, Candace.

Beautiful smash cut to Oscar and Tina (mostly Tina) attempting to set up a sink. It appears to be across them.

Tina: Nosotros need a plumber.
Oscar: We're gonna need a carpenter too if we're going to make this place presentable.
Tina: I know one!

SHANE (the salon – and the person): Sucker Steve is on the outs with Shane… for making a pass at his girl. Oh Steve. If simply you knew.

Shane bee-lines it to a huge LA house to try to talk to Cherie but Clea hops in her truck instead and continues her 'dearest me Shane' pestering campaign. Getting the feel Clea has taken some liberties describing Shane'due south behaviour to her parents, because Cherie is none too pleased to run into her either.

But every bit Shane is calming Cherie down, Clea pops her caput around the door to see her beat out embracing her mom and storms off shrieking.  This is pure lather opera nonsense, and I am having all of it because I can't accept information technology seriously and it'south kind of funny.  Deplorable Shane, I like you simply this is absurd.

Cozy Garden Shed: Tim, probably all the same a niggling uncomfortable from the Portishead before, knocks timidly. Jenny is polite and casual (and looks super-cute in her hipster librarian getup and ponytail), only Tim gets down to business. He'due south found a divorce lawyer and wants Jenny to come with him. This scene is nicely underplayed, specially in contrast with Shane'southward Oedipal Family Circus.

How I know existent lesbians didn't write this evidence: Dana's true cat has died and information technology is played for one-act.  This is the lesbian stereotype that is truest and strongest in my day-to-day life. I know a couple of softball players and an oversharer or two, just I take never met a lesbian who did not care deeply and emotionally near her cat(s).

(If you are a lesbian who doesn't care deeply and emotionally well-nigh cats, delight write in and then I tin can balance my anecdotal data.)

At any rate, poor Dana is obviously heartbroken over the loss of Mr. Piddles, and Alice comforts her and makes funeral plans while Terrible Tonya slips outside like a mangy gold-digging wildebeest.

We will at present take an internet moment of silence for both Mr. Piddles and Dana's ordinarily splendid taste in women.

Back at the gallery, the gang is crewing up to attend and defend the CAC show. Kit shows up with Ivan in tow and… oh.  Tina pulls Candace into a corner to talk to her.  Are nosotros gonna practise this right now?

Nope. She simply wants carpentry aid. Candace, clearly taken aback, rallies and agrees cheerfully.

Meanwhile Bette is absolutely going to town on Kit for 'leading Ivan on'. She's emphatic almost Ivan being a adult female and 'just knows' that (s)he is in beloved with Kit.

Bette: Kit, believe me. Y'all might not be able to read the signals, but they're there. I saw the mode she looks at y'all; she is fully courting you lot, quondam school, and you're letting her.

Shut upward, Bette. You lot don't get to police everyone's relationship right at present. Drinking glass houses, stones, etc.

Oh no, we're back at the manateequarium. This looks like a scene out of 500 Days Of Summer, it'southward so painfully twee. Pretty, though.

They flirt and Fineman goes in for a kiss. I e'er feel weird watching straight kisses on this testify. Merely as he tells her more nearly the seals and their mating rituals, she undoes his chugalug and goes for the kill. I have a bad feeling about this.

Certain plenty, they start fucking against the seal tank with no respect whatever for the seals' personal space. RUDE. Maybe Jenny has a crisis of conscience re: seal fuckery, because she starts to cry in one case Factor is inside her. Beingness a decent guy, instead of freaking out or harassing her he just holds her and strokes her hair.

Four for yous, Factor Fineman. You lot go, Gene Fineman.

The Saddest Cat Funeral In The Globe: Okay, this is kind of funny – the cat is laid out in a footling mahogany and silk casket, and Dana and Alice are standing over information technology looking solemn. I loved my cat a lot, but we buried him in the backyard underneath the sandbox. He loved the sandbox.

Shane is out of committee, presumably pestering Cherie the same way Clea pestered her. Kit arrives with Ivan and gives Dana a hug and some very sweet and somehow completely serious condolences re: Mr. P. When Ivan tries to do the same for Tonya, she gives him this look:

Go suck a fork, Tonya. Bette is there also, with a big beautiful portrait of the kitty as a nowadays.  Alice asks if Tonya and Dana are merging. They practise look suspiciously similar.

Anyways, Dana gets up and makes a really prissy speech near how much she loves her friends and how they've helped her get through the tough times, and then she swallows a live garden ophidian,

I'm kidding, she announces her engagement to Tonya, which is basically the aforementioned thing equally far every bit I'g concerned. I know people do foreign things in grief, but seriously. That is some Jenny-level bad decision making. Hilariously, Shane and Alice's expressions at this moment are identical to mine.

(I know there are a lot of screencaps in this review, only people fabricated a lot of good faces!)

Tibette: Tina may non know what'due south going on, but she tin conspicuously experience something'due south awry, because they're fighting. Virtually Candace. Bette is using her connection to the CAC to claim Tina was out of line hiring her and wah wah Bette, shut upwardly you have no ground to stand up on. Seriously, I think Bette's moral compass might have fallen out while Candace was fingering her.

In the morning, couchbound Bette wakes up to Tina stomping out the door. She stops her and apologizes, and y'all tin just feel the guilt coming out of Jennifer Beals'due south pores in this scene. Tina reaches back a little simply clearly yet has a wall up.

Casa Oedipus: Shane is napping in her automobile like a stalker when a friendly policeman approaches and asks her to move along. When she tries to explain, he reveals that in the eyes of C+C, she is not only like a stalker but is one, and they've filed a restraining order. Yeouch.

Garden Shed: Factor and Jenny are besides sleeping apart, though in the same bed. Blessedly, Jenny explained her complex sexual history to him off-screen, and he'south okay with information technology. He asks if he's the commencement guy he's been with since Tim, and wonders if she'southward secretly a gold-star lesbian, simply Jenny seems confident in her cock appreciation. She offers to butt out, just Cistron still seems interested. Good luck, Fineman. And godspeed.

Planet Xena: Ivan and Kit are out for breakfast, and an awkward conversation is barreling their manner similar the proverbial tunnel-train (or lack-of-railroad train, in this instance). Before Ivan puts information technology all on the table, Kit tries to let her down gently, saying she doesn't have anything to 'offer' in render.

Kit: Please listen to me. I'grand a direct adult female. A two months from fifty year lifetime heterosexual adult female. If you were a human, you would be the perfect man. And I know that there are people who could be amend for you and give you what you're looking for.
Ivan: Exercise you know what you're looking for, Kit?
Kit: No.
Ivan: And then how do you know I can't requite it to you lot?

The more than pertinent question would seem to be, does Kit know what Ivan's looking for? Maybe he doesn't want a sexual relationship, or maybe it'due south more complex than that. They don't seem to have discussed it.

Garden shed: Jenny and Fineman say farewell: cue Tim bursting through the door. Oh crap. Crap.

Tim: Nosotros were engaged! You swore that if you were ever going to exist with a human once again, I was the man you were going to exist with!

A note on But Man syndrome: I'm surprised and pleased to see this come in a bisexual storyline, because information technology seems pretty mutual in real life. Men who are have been with bi women can accept that part of their sexuality. They tin soothe a breakdown by telling themselves that it's not them, information technology'southward their dick, but if she sees another guy it takes the reason for the breakup from something uncontrollable (like their gender) to something controllable (their personality/inadequacy/collection of Puella Magica dolls). I've seen friends who used to appointment get along fine equally long as the ex was with a woman, simply when another guy came into the picture the whole fragile structure complanate almost instantly.

Dudes. What can y'all do.

Anyways. At the gallery, Bette un-subtly tells her assistant that she needs forty-five minutes alone in her part. I wonder if she scheduled sexual practice blocks with Tina as well? But I don't have fourth dimension to wonder anything else considering Portishead'due south cousin is starting upwardly and human. just. human being. They're… not quiet.

Garden shed: Jenny practices her kinetic typography, with an identity poem this time. Information technology remains hilarious and ineffective as a narrative tool. Fortunately, Fineman walks through the words to option Jenny upwardly for the Provocations gala. I feel like we've been leading up to this all flavour!

Tibette: Bette both melts and melts down in the shower. She looks genuinely ill when Tina wraps her in a towel – similar the guilt is literally eating abroad at her. Tina generously attributes it to stress, cradling her. Bette has never looked so vulnerable.

She tells Tina she wants to try for another baby, but Tina says she needs time.

Ivan is at Kit's house to choice her up – in full drag! I hope those ii crazy kids can piece of work it out. I'm pulling for them.

DINNER AND THE SHOW

The Provocations art is but as ugly as I remember information technology, but that's non illegal as far as I'yard enlightened. Journalists harass Bette, who seems to take receded into Super-Professional mode.

The gang'southward all hither! Jenny and Gene run into Tim and Trish (I experience like I'chiliad recapping a Aureate Volume with these names) and Tim suplexes all the sympathy I'd congenital upward for him by rudely 'outing' Jenny to Gene. I WAS ROOTING FOR Y'all TIM, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. Fortunately, Fineman continues to class upwards the joint once Tim leaves.

Factor: Well you told me that yous were in love with that woman and… now you're sleeping with another woman. But you didn't tell me you were a dyke.

Bless.

Shane, Tina and Alice run into the Bobbsey Twins, one of whom is masquerading every bit my onetime favourite lady Dana.  It'south sad and scary and I call back Dana might be suffering post-traumatic true cat disorder. Alice is onto something when she suggests Tonya killed Mr. P and so she could be next in line to inherit. I like the way yous call up. Tensions run high across the board.

Ooh, Cherie and Steve are both in attendance. Steve gives Shane a Liam Neeson Taken spoken language and walks away. You're amend off without her, Shane babe. Without both of them.

In a very beautifully shot scene, Shane enters a mirrored room/art piece boxed in with neon where Cherie is waiting for her. Shane smacks her downward with all the righteous anger of a xv year old pouring out heartbreak in a diary. Cherie is cold equally ice. It'southward very sorry, just also very anticipated.

Whoa, the gang is ALL here. Jenny introduces Robyn to Factor and information technology'south a little awkward, but nothing compared to when Marina pops up backside Jenny to shake his hand.

I'yard going to need to resurrect the Chart just to keep rail of this room! This is ridiculous. I estimate this is the drama equivalent of season finale flop disarmament.

Oh shit, this is it.

This is it.

It's happening.

Every bit Tina says goodbye to Kit and Ivan, she spots Bette standing in a closed-off corner of the gallery, playing with Candace'south necklace. They don't osculation, merely information technology couldn't be any clearer that they want to, and as Bette walks away Candace holds her paw. Tina looks devastated.

As if to soothe my middle (which hurts. ouch), the next scene redeems parking garages for me considerably. Kit nonetheless seems a fiddling nervous about where her relationship with Ivan is going. He anticipates her feet, and turns on his car stereo to play Leonard Cohen'southward wonderful I'm Your Homo. Maybe I'm a fiddling biased because I admire that song, but the sweetness of them dancing together really got to me. Thanks for redeeming the parking garage, guys!

It would exist so rad if Ivan were a not-binary character. I don't know if I was just uninformed in 2004 or if at that place really was less recognition of gender fluidity x years ago, only I can't call up of a unmarried NB character on tv set even now (unless you lot count BMO from Take chances Fourth dimension, who is not technically a person). I truly hope they follow upward with this.

The Shed: Jenny brings Fineman domicile but to find Robyn standing in that location with a daisy in hand. She apologizes for beingness tricked by Marina merely is obviously uncomfortable with Factor's presence. Unfortunately, Marina has called this moment to exit a message on Jenny'due south auto maxim that she still loves her and wants some other run a risk.

Gene and Robyn both offer to go because they're deeply decent. Maybe they should just date each other instead of getting back on the Jenny Schecter Coaster Of Honey. Jenny has an alternating plan: everybody stays. Sexy?

Casa Tibette: Tina is waiting on the couch.

Bette goes to her and tries to hug her, just Tina pushes her abroad and slaps her full in the face up.

I feel a little uncomfortable recapping the scene that follows. Tina swears and spits at Bette, who seems desperate to get as close to her every bit possible. She tears Tina's shirt in half and kisses her, only the whole fourth dimension Tina is fighting herviciously, and I couldn't assistance but call up that if someone showed me this scene with no context, I would conspicuously label information technology as a sexual assault. Within the story arc, I understand the dynamic a little more than just… I was glad to see that at the end of the night, Tina ends upward on Alice's couch instead of in bed with her wife.

Speaking of Alice… she'southward exterior Dana's door at four in the morn with (apparently) very picayune idea of what she'southward doing there. Dana appears looking adorably bedheaded, and Alice utters that classic film protest.

Alice:You can't ally Tonya.
Dana:Why?

Alice kisses her, one time, gently. Then Dana kisses back and it is ON.

People, let us gloat.

I didn't think this would happen! Well, at least non so shortly. MY OTP IS MEANT TO BEEEEE.

Mood whiplash time! Alice gets domicile from her amazingly steamy kiss with Dana to find Tina sitting quietly on the sofa. She stands upward and walks to Alice's Chart, sitting in pride of place on her living room wall, and tries to add a line to Bette'south name. She only manages to become CA out before Alice stops her and holds her every bit she cries.

And that is the finish of The L Word (Virgin) Season One.

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Source: https://lwordvirgin.tumblr.com/post/95748565536/season-1-episode-13-growing-pains

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